Calf Marriage - A social concern among Indian elephants
At elephant matrimony, we provide a novel digital portal for pachyderms to find their soul mates and involve in the blissful social contract of marriage. However, apart from pimping elephants we also are keen in taking steps towards addressing key social issues and project ourselves as being socially aware and a little holier than thou.
The Indian elephant (Elephas maximus indicus), more commonly known as the "Elifend (or Yelifend)" in the southern states of India, was traditionally considered to be a very conservative animal with a tenuous grip on cultural and moral values. But with the tempestuous influence of modernization, the modern elifend has transgressed all boundaries and to the point that it has been implicated in cross-border terrorism. The modern elifend is no longer chained to the confines of temples in Kerala, eating bananas and begging for alms. The modern day elifend can be found eating peanuts in zoos in San Diego and in circuses in Las Vegas. However despite this modernization, the elifend is still known to hold on to its core cultural values and does not offer pre-marital nookie to the
In this day and age where elephants have progressed to ocean swimming and using guns, it is quite sad that we are still plagued by social stigmata from our past. One such social issue is that of calf marriage. In jungles of India, many calves are married off in a tender age even before they have started tusking. Some wedlocks are made when the animal is still in the womb. Given that elifends are pregnant for about 2 years, pregnant cows are made to participate in cruel "swayamvars" where all other elifends have fun at their expense. Given that pregnant elifends cant drink or smoke already, it would be a mammoth torture for them to tolerate all this.
(Baby elifend Surulirajan distraught after calf marriage)
Calf marriages are even often rigid business contracts and violation of such contracts bonds the offender to cruel punishments such as offering the partner's family a lifetime of free back-rubs during afternoon mud baths. Conditions are even more difficult for she-calves who have to also provide dowries to the male elifend's family. Dowries can range from the nominal comb of bananas to exorbitant gifts such as fancy vehicles.
(Bridegroom elifend Manmadharajan enjoying new found wealth from dowries)
We at elephant matrimony are strongly against calf marriage. Which is why we demand age proof to ensure that every elifend, registered be of legal age of marriage. We also mail pink elifend underwear to elifend swayamvars and as gifts to calf-marriages. But strangely little baby elifends seem to like the pink underwear. (A German expert suggested that we mail them bananas with needles stuck in them, but before the plan was consolidated he became busy on a mission to kill an octopus.) Our steps may be slow, but they are steady (much like that of an elifend).
Not to blow our own trumpets but we would like to encourage every other animal matrimony site to also be aware of such social issues in the animal kingdom. Which is why we urge our sister concern Spider Matrimony to swiftly address the issue of Black Widow remarriage before it spins its vicious web around all other animals in the animal kingdom.
Lets encourage poaching, but only poaching of eggs. (well it is a healthier option!)
