Monday, March 24, 2008

“My” Milk!!!

Unlike many canines that I know, I am not habited to marking my territory with my excrement. My upbringing in a very cozy home and hostel life to a large extent have blurred out my sense of personal space and belonging. More importantly they have instilled the tendency to share comfortably and the ability to co-exist with other humans without wanting to bite their head off everyday. So it was a cultural shock for me when I moved to the US. It took a while to get used to the fact that the people here have strong definitions of their intimate zones and are not very ready in sharing. But the cultural electrocution however was ultimately provided by an Indian household nevertheless.
I was very happy with the food that was served that day except for the initial “P” that had been inscribed with a sharpie on the hardboiled egg that was on my plate. “It is only on the shell.” was the unabashed reply to my questioning glance. “The initials are to mark out my eggs” she added. “Well, we label our stuff in the fridge” she said nonchalantly when the questioning glance refused to wane. To my dismay, she was not even joking. Every egg in the fridge had individually labeled with one of 4 different initials. Milk bottles had been marked, with level indicators to ensure no one was cheating. “Well, that is “My” milk” (But of course with the M in capitals) she offered me a glass to drink, and coming from a girl’s mouth, it sounded funny in more than just one way.
The rest of the kitchen was no better. One tray in the refrigerator was teeming with groceries, whereas another, had a lonely yoghurt can crying for company. But then things could not be moved to that tray because that was her “My” tray, and it was forbidden territory. Crossing the line of control would cause unimaginable political turmoil. There was already great tension due to the infiltration of a “Your” chewing gum wrapper from one tier into an open vessel of 3 day old “My” dhal that was harboring a harmonious mat of “definitely not my” fungi in the tier below. Space was a big constraint; each person was allowed only a quart of “My” milk and a quart of “My” juice each and gallons were out of the question. Everything was there in quadruplicate, “My X 4” cutlery, utensils, food, spices, condiments and even “My” salt. SALT!!!
The rest of the house was not spared from the reeking of their territorial pissings either. Speakers were banned. “My” Laptops and computers were run exclusively in muted mode. The “I also paid for it, and hence have equal rights over it” television had degenerated to become vestigial. Each of the two “My by two” bedrooms was equally divided into 2 “My” parts by a nonexistent line. Each half harbored a “My” microenvironment characteristic of its resident. It amazing how half a “My by two” room can be clean, and the other half be dirty at the same time. The “Mine if clean” Clothes and towels could not be left hanging in the “My by four” bathrooms and the “MY and I will kill you if you touch it” shampoos and cosmetics, as a matter of preference, were never left in the bathroom either. For no reason at all, people never lived in the “our” living room. There was no rule against this, but they simply preferred not to.
My “our” household, to the contrast was a free for all. The stuff in the “our” fridge was open for all roommates, friends, friends-of-friends, relatives, neighbors and I am pretty sure the homeless bum on the road often dug in for a bite too. I was very upset when this equilibrium was shattered one day when a can of “My” milk had stealthily encroached into my fridge. The aroma and taste of the “I can give you a sip if you want” coffee I was drinking were sucked out instantaneously when I was informed that I had used “My” milk instead of my milk.
I could do nothing but stare with utter dismay when what started of as a small isolated hut of “My” milk, gained fortification and grew into a huge ugly slum filled with all kinds of “My” stuff, rooting themselves steadily in my fridge. Not only were new “My” stuff establishing themselves in the fridge but also things that were “our” crockery earlier were gradually deserting my cause and converting into “My” crockery. I was beginning to learn the biggest lesson in my life, a complete understanding of the concept of “My” milk.
There are 2 different things namely, my milk and “My” milk. My milk can be consumed by me, us and “ME”. But “My” milk can be consumed only by “ME”. My milk can be in my house, our house or “My” house. But “My” milk can only be in “My” house. Any inadvertent consumption of “My” milk by me, immediately pushes “Me” into the brink of starvation and puts “Me” in a life and death situation. This subsequently puts me in a would-love-it-if-you-drop-dead situation. On the other hand, my milk can be freely consumed by “Me” because sharing is a virtue that is expected of me, but certainly not expected of “Me”. In essence, my to a certain extent translates to “our” but “My” can only translate to “My”. The difference between my milk and "our" milk is only a matter of perspective.
Furthermore, “My” milk comes in “My” milk bottles. But however once the “My” milk is consumed, the “My” bottles immediately change allegiance and become “Its not my” or “I don’t know who’s” bottles. Also in case growth of any unidentified bacterial species occurs in the “My” milk, it immediately baptizes it and changes it to “I swear its not my” milk. On the other hand if any such unfortunate disaster occurs to my milk, it suddenly becomes “YOUR” milk. There have also been isolated observations of “My” milk converting to “Your” milk under similar conditions.
I really am beginning to hate this “My” game with all my “My” blood and “My” guts. If I don’t share, it is because I am cheap, but if “I” don’t share, “I” am only being fair. “My” milk has simply walked into my “MY” life and turned sour, as does milk.
When I wrote this article I wondered what if “I” read this article. But then I don’t really care and that’s just “:M.E:”.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Saturday, November 03, 2007

The Mirror

A friend's eye is a mirror,
A mirror in which I see.
I see the images it shines,
it shines refections of me.
I see through the times,
times of glee and sorrow.
I see vivid mirages,
mirages of what might be tomorrow
Mirrors they are shattered,
shattered i see my face.
Wounds they leave their scars,
scars i can not erase.

Monday, August 20, 2007

Saturday, August 04, 2007

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Monday, July 09, 2007

Stepping stone....

As I type, I am already regretting the way I am beginning this article. But I suppose it is because I have not written anything for quite a while now. This is probably what they call a “writer’s block”, when lack of inspiration spawns an inability to express. In a conscious effort, I have decided to draw inspiration from this very handicap and use it as crutch to jump over the block. I may end up writing either a parody on my parasitic dependence on some form inspiration in order to be able to write; or a tribute to the many empty “Google” windows I have opened, to frame the emptiness of my mind. Nevertheless the blue color of the windows accent the “blues” I am going through.
As I try to wade out of the murky blues, I go green with envy at people who are able to draw inspiration from small things in life and furthermore the ones who take to writing instinctively, without the need for any inspiration. Green envy blends into red rage as irritation mounts the way it does, when your ballpoint pen refuses to yield when you are signing your cheque at the bank counter. All these vivid colors fade away as I stare at the strident truth in hand, my inability to write and the truth alone remains, leaving behind a white sheet in front of me, a white empty sheet, very literally inviting me to write.
As I hastily try to wind up my article I realize that writing a bad article is like screwing up your cooking, the more you try to fix it the worse it turns out to be. It would only be easier to face the fact and eat humble pie. I may have failed to scale the block but nevertheless I have now a stepping stone which may at least help me do better the next time.

Sunday, April 01, 2007

Saturday, March 31, 2007

Ambigram - No "X" in Nixon


First, if you haven't noticed "No X in Nixon" is also a palindrome.
Second, I call it a "paragram" and I define paragram as the ambigram of a palindrome.
Third, It has a mirror symmetry and is also readable when inverted
Fourth, No applause please.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Shaheema - Ambigram


Whats with the ducks????